Sunday, February 17, 2019

HAVE HAD BETTER WEEKS


If ever there was a bad week, I am having one. On Tuesday, I was told I will need cataract surgery. This, folks, terrifies me. Always has. The thought of anyone cutting on my eye gives me all-out anxiety. And I know I need it....my vision keeps deteriorating in my right eye, more to chemo side effects than normal aging. I deferred the big 3-hour evaluation til after Florida since I can't wear contacts for 2 weeks prior to the eval. If they could just knock me out.....but I understand I will be awake, but unaware. What if I do become aware? O, man, this is not what I wanted to hear. I could worry myself into a total panic.

Then the next day, I woke up with a raging case of vertigo. Richie had to carry me to the bathroom. I could not sit up, walk, bend or turn on head. It has never been this bad. I finally vomited at about 10:00 from the spinning. Needless to say, I spent the entire day on my back, mostly sleeping and watching the ceiling. It was slightly improved the next day but even today I still am woozy, unsteady on my feet, and feeling as if my head is unattached to my body. I am praying so hard that God will heal the vertigo totally before we leave on our trip. I could not go like this. I'd be a liability.

I spent Valentine's Day in bed again, and was once again reminded what love really looks like. It is not flowers and chocolates and fancy dinners out. It is having a husband who meets your every need, bringing me a vomit bowl (then, without a word, taking it and dumping it out, cleaning it, and returning it to me), wipes to clean my mouth, gum to take the edge off my rotten breath,  a phone to have next to me, ice water, bathroom carries, holding me up by the armpit when I tried to walk. This, friends, is true love. You newlyweds are rolling your eyes now, but your time will come when this becomes a reality for you too. Real love, real commitment.  I am so blessed with Richie.

I am able to sit still on this computer chair and type this without spinning today. I am grateful for that. It feels like improvement.

If you are a pray-er I would relish your prayers for quick healing of this awful vertigo.

Thanks.

Sunday, February 10, 2019

NO BIG SNOW HERE

I officially hit a sad low in my weight today. Haven't been under 100 pounds since I was a "tween."  Looking back over the last few weeks, I haven't really liked any of the hamburger dishes that Dick has made and have eaten less than usual. I SO need to put on 5-10 pounds. It's so hard when you're not supposed to eat sugar or white carbs in any form.

We still hold out hope that Sam and Gretch will get a unit at our place. Another week to 10 days is all we have before flights for them would be all filled up. I pray boldly every day.

My Ancestry results were underwhelming. I know more from the research I did many years ago when I wrote books on each side of my family's history than I learned from them.....much more. The only matches that were close were my first cousin Nancy and 3 of my second cousins and about 500 6th-8th cousins. Why no just go back to Adam and Eve? Pretty worthless. They did not even get the breakdown right. I am 25% Irish and they got that close, 22%. But they missed our ancestral home, Castleblaney in County Wexford. They said we came from County Cork.. They had me for 33% German and I am 50% German. They gave me 31% English and I am 0% English. So anyway......it was not an enlightening report.

4th day without a headache!!!!!I am no longer using my new perfume and it has made a difference.

We got a snitch of snow last night. We've had brown grass and dry roads it seems, for weeks, even as our neighbors to the north of us are getting inundated with snow. I like brown grass. This morning there is a light covering of snow....maybe an inch. My heart aches for all of you who are getting dumped on in the past couple weeks.

I am not a political person, but New York's new abortion laws have me thinking that we have a nations of barbarians. That a full-term pre-born baby can be murdered just minutes before she is born ........they are no better than the Nazis. That a big crowd of people cheered outside the NY capital when it was signed makes me sick to my stomach. Instead of this heinous procedure, why don't we have a nationwide push for ADOPTION?? Have the baby you do not want and give to a waiting couple who is yearning for a child. Maybe the government should give a sizable check to women who choose to have their child and agrees to give them to an adoption agency?? Could that change their mind?  I'll step down from my soapbox now.

Off to take a nap.....I have learned to love them!! Stay warm and safe.

     Delayed answers to prayers are not denials. Many prayers are received and recorded, yet underneath are the words, "My time has not come." God has a fixed time and an ordained purpose, and He who controls the limits of our lives also determines the time of deliverance.  (From Streams in the Desert)