NO IMPROVEMENT

I just want to update you on my condition.  My biggest enemy right now is muscle weakness and falling.  I'm so unstable on my feet so I have fallen 3 times this week.  When you add that to vertigo you can see why I spend a lot of time sitting on my love-seat. My left hand and arm are also very weak making it rather useless.  I try to exercise and strengthen my muscles, but that doesn't seem to improve the situation.

The doctor a week ago gave us the medical prognosis of 4-6 months of survival.  This was obviously difficult to hear, but we have not lost our faith in God's healing power.  We know God has the last word.

Richie has become a full-time care giver.  He basically manages the house cleaning, laundry, cooking, and shopping.  It breaks my heart to see him take on these roles.  He seems to know what I need before I even need it. 

I don't know what this means for going to our lake cabin this spring and summer. I know I can't go if I am completely helpless. It would be devastating to miss a summer at the lake, but I do not want to die there.

We are waiting for news from Minneapolis regarding the birth of our first grandchild.  Today is the actual due date.

Continue to pray for us!

A NEW ROAD WITH ONLY GOD

 This blog may have to be dictated to my hubbie in the future. I can no longer use my left arm to type. The brain tumor they found in Feb left me with a dead fish hanging on the left. I look like I've had a stroke. So many more losses. My walking is affected too and now use a walker for support. Quality of life continues to be lost. We ordered a card holder for helping us continue our daily games,

Our big news is that we have given up all medical  Rx and have turned it over to God. The side effects were making life so unlivable. We still trust God for healing.100% faith.

This has taken me about 25 minutes with my right index finger, and i'm worn out. Pray that without the chemo, i may improve!

VACATION IS OVER

I am, sadly, back in snow and cold, after a great month on South Padre Island. Texas. The unit we rented was much more lavish than we anticipated; a 3 BR condo was bigger than our house! We did a lot of the touristy things (Sea Turtle Rescue Center, Bird Sanctuary, etc) and did plenty of reading and lounging and working at their huge gym with a steam room and hot tub (inside and outside), and many machines, along with a library, tennis and racquetball and basketball courts. Richie was in gym heaven. All in all, a great month away from winter snow (and we hear we dodged a lot of it.)

We even had a miracle the day of arrival (too long to write about) but we were assured the Ekstrom angels were still in the business of saving us.

Richie took a 3-hr fishing trip and came home with sand trout which were delicious. I'm so glad he had a good time.

Observations:

1. There is too much obesity in South Texas.
2. I wish I knew Spanish. Every server and clerk were Hispanic.
3. The portions of food you get in a restaurant are insane. Thus, #1.
4. Lots of T-shirt/souvenir shops which were cheap and low quality. We didn't buy one item.
5. Met or greeted several NDSU and Viking fans. Apparently there are many winter Texans from ND, MN, and WI.
6. We were able to spend a little time with the best friends of my parents who wintered there for maybe 10-12 years. Oh, how they loved my parents. 
7. By far, the sunsets were the most spectacular I've ever seen in my life. The pinks and purples and blues were too stunning to describe.

I had a cortisone shot for each shoulder before I left. One worked. One didn't. Getting another tomorrow. Dick has me on a strict strengthening routine.....I am getting so weak and increasingly unstable. Lucky for me, I have a husband who says nothing, but took my arm and hand every time we left the car or house to be my cane. I didn't walk a step without him. He is such a jewel of a caregiver. 

Meeting with my oncologist in 2 weeks. I took a 3 week drug holiday while in Texas, but realized after 9 days it was doing nothing to improve my well-being so I went back on.
The last drug holiday I took, a year ago, rendered great results.

We are re-adapting to life in winter. For better or worse, this is home. 

Eating at Pier 19

This was our 27 foot deck

Our building

Dick sitting on our deck

Eating at the infamous Dirty Al's

Richie's fishing boat, pelicans and seagulls hovering

Not many people swimming in the ocean

WOULD LIKE A RE-DO

I would like the past 4 weeks to live over. If you saw my calendar, you would understand why. I have had appointments with ear people, multiple visits to my optometrist, Vance Thompson, mammogram people, physicals, blood draws, and we've had to travel twice to Sioux Falls. Dick has had just as many appointments as I have--one car is always out of the garage. And I have to see an orthopedic surgeon next week for 2 frozen shoulders. Ugh. This week has been hard. I had an eye procedure on Monday and had a bad reaction to it. Have never had so much burning and pain. (the doctor told me in his 30 years of practice, he hasn't had anyone have a reaction to it)......until me. Am now on 3 types of eye drops and having to warm-pack my eyes. I could not even lift my eye lids up the night of the procedure because lifting them would shoot severe pain behind my eyes. Enough details on that. I have yet another scan set in 2 weeks. Sigh.

We finally finished our baby's gift......the bookcase we refinished that her great-great grandfather built. It turned out great and I can't wait to take it to them and fill it with books.

We got a "smart thermostat" installed on our furnace. So  now, no matter where we are, we can set out thermostat up or down by cell phone. This will be so much better than having to ask a friend check it manually, to make sure pipes are still OK when we are gone.

I wish you all a happy Christmas holiday and new year. If I have time, I will let you know my scan results right before Christmas.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

It has been a busy late October and early November. Our calendar has something (or two things) every day. I guess it is good to be busy, though I have the stamina for only 1 thing a day. Visiting with friends at one of our homes, I need to limit to about 45 min- 1 hr. I hope to gain more stamina as time goes on. Maybe weight gain will aid in this. I have crossed the 99 lb. mark and was 99.4 yesterday. This excites me.....that I am this close to 100. I eat as much as my stomach can hold and still can't put on poundage.

Have had two special people to pray for. Our pastor (whose condition is not mine to share) has had a challenging diagnosis; my sister-in-law had spinal fusion surgery as well as another "fix" and has a long recovery ahead. When you can't do anything else for someone hurting, you can pray. And I have been---many times each day.

I took my brother's advice last year and did a good amount of Christmas shopping online. He swears by it. I now do too. I only have 1 item left to get at the mall for Richie. Feels so good to be done and now can enjoy the holidays without having to traverse in the holiday rush. We just have the fun of wrapping everything now.

Fellow parents of adult children: I had both kids and Richie fill out this info and get it back to me: Something you want, something you need, something to wear, something to read. They all did it and it made shopping so stress free. They won't get all 4 things, but it gave me some leeway. I highly recommend this "tool."

After talking about this for several years, we finally pulled the trigger on having a new driveway laid. No more cracks with weeds growing in them every summer. No more heaves. The contractor did a fantastic job. We did have to park our car on the front lawn for a week while the cement cured, but it is a vast improvement to the eye and to the value of our home.

Our next project is getting our beautiful and bountiful tree on our berm taken down. We are avid tree people and this breaks our hearts. The tree is the largest on the block. But ever since we got one large limb taken off last year, the tree has started to rot and is encroaching on the curb and street. The city will do it for us and save us 2 thousand dollars...praise God for that. It probably didn't hurt that the street maintenance director is our next door neighbor.

It means we have NO shade anymore, but we'll probably plant a red maple or a red oak tree---or both---in the front yard. When the future owners of this house reach middle age, they might have a little shade. Having no shade for the near future will be tough

I am a big supporter of women losing their baby weight after a pregnancy as soon as they can. A shoutout to my friend MK who, with a 4 week old, is already trim again. She worked hard at it. Another shoutout to my unknown friend (we never did exchange names) who brought a week-old newborn to the club, wrapped her in one of those whole body papoose wraps and walked the oval for over a half hour while the baby slept on her chest. She told me that right now, this is what she is able to do to shed her pounds. Good for her!!

We like working at the new Vermillion Food Pantry. They did a nice job renovating the new space. I love serving the community by volunteering there.

I have a few friends who follow this blog who appreciate book suggestions and I kept a list this summer and fall of my favorites;

What Matters Most---Luanne Rice
While My Sister Sleeps---Barabara Delinsky
Dance with Me---Luanne Rice
Becoming---Michelle Obama
Grace will Lead us Home----Jennifer Barry Howes (about Charleston church                   massacre)
Where the Light Enters---Jill Biden
Point of View----Elisabeth Hasselbeck
The Tattoist of Auschwitz
The Bad Daughter---Joy Fielding
Once and Again---Barbara Delinsky
Off-Season---Ann Rivers Siddons
The Great Alone---Kristin Hannah
Blessings---Belva Plain
The Bridge---Lisa Tawn Bergren

These are some of the novels I liked best. When you read 3 per week, you miss recording alot of them, but the above were all good.

We are living in a deep freeze. I mean DEEP. Mid-January temps are crazy for this time of year but we've got them. Can't wait to go south!!!! Have new brain and lung scans in late December. Never look forward to them, but I do what I need to do. Pray that the scans will show NO INCREASES in tumor growth!

Happy Thanksgiving!

HAPPY NEWS

Happy November, friends. It is only 10 days away! Makes me think of snow and cold and makes me glad we get out of here for a little while in the winter. Wish it were for 3 months!!!!!

Richie and I just got back from a little road trip, golf with his brother in law in Kansas City and then on to Branson, MO where we had a real enjoyable few days. Saw THE best show, the Petersen Family Bluegrass show (currently ranked #1 in Branson right now). We loved their bluegrass so much we went back on Sunday to their gospel show.

Great as it was to get away, after 7 days, I was ready to come home. No place like home.

I had a tough 2 weeks before we left. I had (which I already wrote about) that  horrible throat wound which took a good week to heal enough to swallow without pain. The next day, a crown fell off a back molar when I bit into a hard almond. On Monday that had to be replaced and I was so numb the rest of that day, slurred all my words. That over, the next day I came down with vertigo. I so prayed we wouldn't have to cancel our trip, and God came through as usual.

Sam and Gretchen are going to have a baby girl in March. We found out in late August, but were sworn to secrecy til now. Fun news. I told God 9 years ago that I wanted to meet my first grandchild and would He please keep me alive to hold her? Unless I die in the next 6 months, it looks like I will get to meet her!!!
Happy family news!

Richie and I are working to finish refinishing the bookcase  that my grampa built back in the 1920's and has been passed down to every generation since. It is beautiful solid oak and will be passed down to little Miss Sweet Pea full of some of the 325 books I kept from Sam's childhood. He used to sit in front of the bookcase in his room (like about ages 2-5) and "read" to himself.

We are headed to the next Vikings game in Mpls. Always fun to try to get there once a year. It is so cool knowing your kid is sitting in the press box.

That's all for now, folks!

 Butterflies landing on all the people at the Branson Butterfly Palace. They liked my nectar stick.

 On Lake Superior shore with Sam and Gretch

Finding out about the baby

SCAN RESULTS

Instead of deer and water and pine trees out my front window, I now am back to dogs, children on bikes, people walking. Such a change to adapt to. So many adaptations in the house again.  The TV remote is different. Toilet paper on the other side of the "cabin side." Garbage can in kitchen on opposite side under sink. It will take some time to reprogram my brain once again.

The past week has been tough. I had my brain and lung scans last week, and I had a bad outcome from the anesthetists' intubation of me (I was sedated for the brain MRI). I came out of there with a wound on the back of my throat that had pus in the middle and looked like a tractor drove over my palette. Could not eat, drink, swallow or spit without pain. It was awful. Had to go to the clinic for a RX for Magic Mouthwash (Chris recommended this) to take the edge off the pain. Only today, 7 days later, have I turned a corner and feel that within a couple more days, it should be pain-free.

My scans showed little change since May, so I will be staying on my present chemo. I am always ready to hear YOU ARE CANCER FREE. But, not this time. To celebrate my status quo, we went to OH MY CUPCAKES and got one. Most delicious cupcake ever. Pricey, but incredible. It was after I ate that when the pain in my mouth set in.

I am down to 96 pounds. Granted, this week I did not eat much because of swallowing pain, but I tried all summer to try to gain some of my lost weight back and thought I was eating nice meals.....Richie would concur with this.....but I just couldn't get my numbers back up. I look like a skeleton and feel some days like I am wasting away. But I plod on.

I have lost stamina over the summer. I became very reclusive because I couldn't deal with people coming over and chatting forever. I can handle maybe an hour on a good day. I have just owned it and tell friends, "Your visit has to be less than an hour." I can do one "thing" per day. A Walmart shop, or laundry, or fixing a meal.......but not all three. I so hate the energy I have lost with these side-effects from Chemo. I do go to the Wellness Center every other day to work out. Hope it will help over time.

Have a great autumn!!