ALMOST MOVED IN

We are back up north. And NORTH it is. We've only had 3 days that have hit 70. It gets plenty cold at night....the propane furnace goes on quite often. But still, just looking out at the lake warms my soul.

I started my vacation with 6 days of chest pain. I ended up in the ER in town where they did every test imaginable on me and were able to rule out a heart attack and a lung clot. I left with probably a $20,000 ER bill and no certain diagnosis. She guessed maybe "esophageal spasms." and gave me an RX.

I sent out a mass email to my prayer warriors and within about 48 hours, the chest pains were greatly reduced and within another day of that, they were gone.

I have the most powerful group  of prayer partners you could ask you. They are incredible intercessors.

We didn't have mail until Saturday. The Vermilion PO had a snafu in their forwarding system and were a week late in getting our stuff sent out, but at least it is here now. Our USA Today newspaper even got screwed up and was sending our copy to our home everyday. We finally got that resolved.

Sam was free for 2 days to come and help Richie with the heavy-lifting in getting the place opened up, dock in, boat lift in, boats in the water, shutters carried down to the garage, etc. 10 years ago, I was still helping him but cannot do anything like that anymore. Sam was a godsend.

We are still not 100% moved in and organized, but getting there. It is getting to be quite daunting to pack up our lives and come, and then pack up our lives to return. It is no longer easy.

A bright spot was stopping by Brad and Karol Broderson's new cabin on Marion Lake on the way up. We stayed overnight with then. Their new digs are beautiful. 

Well I have a bunch of business to tend to online, so must go now. We got fiber-optic cable put in and now have email and Wi-Fi. Still no cell service so texts rarely come or go, but the internet is great. I hope you are all enjoying your summer.

M.

WARMTH HAS ARRIVED

This will probably be my last post before moving north. The house is total chaos as we gather things out of closets and drawers and set them all around so we remember to pack them. While gathering up stuff, I am able to purge along the way. A line from my purging bible helps me let go: Use it up, wear it out, make it work or do without. Much of the stuff we have saved is already used up and worn out!!

Spring in Vermillion is beautiful. Our grass is so green, all of the fruit trees have the most fragrant blossoms that waft through town. Daffodils and tulips are up and so colorful. Lilacs in bloom. Can’t get enough of sitting on the deck, reading, and taking deep breaths of God’s fragrances in nature.

My eyes are still adapting. I badly need a good pair of cheaters (I have 6 pair from the Dollar Store, and have no idea what the strength is. In another 2 or 3 weeks they should be able to determine what I need. I no longer can see the computer or my cell or anything else within about 18”. But boy, is my distance vision unbelievable! There hasn’t been a day yet that I haven’t gone to the bathroom to take out my contacts. I can’t seem to break the 50-year habit of doing it. Muscle memory is tough to break.

I bought a car for myself (Richie approved). I have resisted getting a car to replace our 18 year old Caravan, because I think she could go another 50000 miles (she is at 200000). Car shopping was horrendous last year, but by a series of God-directed fingerprints, I found a used Odyssey that is like absolute new-from-the factory. 

Immaculate, no bells and whistles (which I didn’t want), simple dashboard buttons and knobs. I cried when we gave our keys to Rosie to the salesman. She has been dear to me through all the years of Sam’s growing up years and she has held some of our most precious memories. When I see her in the used car lot now, I wince. BUT, within 2 days, I was all about my Odyssey (as yet unnamed). Tears dried up and all smiles for the new wheels!

I saw my oncologist on Tuesday. I refused to come back to SF for scans in July. I said I was going to wait til September and he agreed to it. The only medical task I need to do is have a blood draw in July. First year I have not gone back. Be bold about your own healthcare.

Well, I will miss our work at the Food Pantry every Wednesday. Dick and I have enjoyed the “giving back” by serving shoppers who can’t afford food. We have met so many great people, shoppers and volunteers alike. And we will miss the move to the newly constructed pantry downtown, ready for move-in in a couple of weeks. We will appreciate all the extra space.

I should be able to post FROM HOME this summer. We are getting fiber-optic cable on May thirtieth. No more library trips, an hour away, to have to email someone!

May God bless your summer in every which way, and rain down safety and peace and good health to you and your families.

                                                               

  First pic is of Rosie and me  before we left to adopt her out. Second is the new used car.                                                         

HAPPY MAY DAY

What great author said, “These are trying times?” Oh, yes they are. My two cataract surgeries are over and now I am in the healing/adjusting phase, still needing to patch my eyes at night, still needing to do eye drops every morning, and still adjusting to being able to see. It is not 100% clear yet and I have some double-vision that may or may not get better. I can’t do much for 2 weeks so I spend a lot of time sleeping and laying on the couch listening to music. I did conquer a pot of potato knofle soup for supper tonight.

It is sort of weird. I keep wanting to go and take my contacts out and be able to see up close like my watch and computer, crosswords, cell phone and remote  (I need cheaters for all that). There was something great about seeing under your fingernails or file a fingernail with no glasses on.

Patience, Mary, patience. It could take up to a month for total healing. I am praying God will work quickly on that. We have a date with the north woods in 3.5 weeks.

My skull numbness has improved but the right side of my head is still numb and hard. The front and back and left side are ¾ “thawed.”

Dick and I are still purging the house. We went thru our bookshelf and packed up 60 books that we will not read again.  They are like new; I wish I could have a book yard sale. Finally able to part with clothes that I’ve had for 25 or more years. It leaves me with very little, but I HATE shopping. Don’t need much at the lake; maybe this fall, I’ll be able to see well and feel like getting some new stuff.

Bless you for your prayers.

Happy May Day!! 

 They wanted me to wear these goggles to bed for 2 weeks, but I had to switch to an eye patch 

on both eyes because they were just too uncomfortable

This is my night-time eye attire. On both eyes.

HAPPY EASTER

Yesterday was the last day I will ever wear a contact lens in my right eye. I started wearing contacts at the end of 8th grade, 51 years ago. I have to wear glasses for 3 days before my surgery. It will sure seem strange, but wonderful, not to have to put them in my eyes every morning!!! Surgery on right eye is Monday at 6:30 AM.

Richie just arrived home from Kansas City after golfing with his brother-in-law the past two days. Nice for him to spend time with his family and just get away. They found close to 100 balls!!! He won't have to buy golf balls for 5 years!! We'll give a bunch of them to Sam.

I finished purging our bedroom and was going to start on the bathroom closet today, but have been busy all day with other things. Tomorrow I will tackle that. If you need motivation to lighten your load, please read a short book called Outer Control, Inner Calm by Gretchen Rubin. She is an amazing motivator for being able to let go of things you don't use, or need, or want or love. Just because Mom and Dad or my grandparents had it, it doesn't mean I need to keep it....that is what has tripped me up for years.....I'm sentimental. No longer. Thank you Gretchen Rubin.

I just finished 2 great books. I don't know if you are a fan of Michelle Obama or not, but her new autobiography BECOMING is one of the best non-fiction books I've ever read. Very raw and authentic, enlightening and inspiring. The other is called GIRL UNBROKEN by Regina Calcaterra and Rosie Maloney, about the true story of a girl (now woman) who finally got up enough courage to write about her horrific childhood of gross abuse and neglect. It's a hard book to read, but very inspirational . Right now I am reading the companion book (I didn't know one came before) of one of her sisters telling HER story. The 5 kids were consistently split up in different groups. It is Etched in the Sand by Regina Calcaterra

It makes me appreciate so much the loving foster home that my niece Rachel offered to maybe a hundred or more kids over the years. She loved and cared for them so well.

It is 85 degrees and I am headed out to the deck to read. WINTER IS OVER!!!!!

Happy Resurrection Sunday! So blessed are we that our Savior loved us so much that He would die for us and rise up again in glory!!!

CATARACTS SCHEDULED

Two weeks now since the gamma knife procedure. I still have a numb skull and experience moments of panic when I think it will always be like this. But they said "weeks to months" so I just need to wait out the time. The peg holes are scabbing over, still hurt, and Richie found two more in the back next to the other ones that nobody said anything about. Did they hit the wrong spot and had to do it twice?? I will ask the radiation oncologist when I see her in 2 weeks.

The two peg holes on my forehead are starting to scab and heal as well. One is barely visible.

Today I had my 2.5 hour evaluation to see if I am eligible for cataract surgery. I am and decided to go forth with it. I spent most of that time testing with opticians, optometrists and technicians who did tons of tests on my eyes. The best part of the eval was that  my choice of surgeon was available at the end of my appt to come and talk to me. I chose Vance Thompson, the internationally recognized ophthalmologist and surgeon. I cannot believe how laid-back and warm he was. So reassuring, helping me decide what lens will be best for me. Asking me about myself. He said at the end that it was going to be an honor to work on me and that he promised me a great outcome. I have total trust in his care.

This will happen on April 22 and April 29. I wonder how many miles over the 8 years we have racked up driving to Sioux Falls for for hearing loss, cancer, scans, scan results.  So tired of the drive. Good thing medical mileage is tax deductible.

So now I have 3 weeks and I refuse to worry about it. God tells us in scripture that we need to lay our burdens on him, and he will give us rest. And so I will.

That's it for tonight. I only slept last night from 5-7 AM due to the stupid decision to eat something sweet before bed, which I have vowed not to do. I was buzzed all night. I am WAY behind in sleep and am going to bed right now----at 10:00-----way earlier than my usual 12-1 AM I hope I can sleep for 10 hours.

Goodnight.

READY FOR HEALTH AND RESTORATION

Well, I promised a report on my Gamma Knife radiation and here it is: I SURVIVED IT! God showered me with a peace and calm that truly did pass all understanding.

The neurosurgeon, who told me he was from Cloquet, MN, came into my room and inserted 2 of the pegs (pins I guess they call them). (Yes, they numbed me up well.)

This pic is of half the "cage" they locked me into. The other half is attached like a football helmet with another two pins in the back of my skull. They did not give me sedation for the Gamma, but a sedative enough to make me dopey and mostly unaware, but I could still talk to them. I laid there for 2.5 hours without moving. That is another God thing. When it was over, they bandaged me up and sent me on my way.

I must say I had the greatest nurse ever. She stayed with me for the entire day, (as well as the day before when we did a CT and an MRI), tending to my every need with a huge smile and oodles of sweet compassion. She and I just clicked......we hugged when I left and she told me to "ring the bell" for last treatment. (from her lips to God's ears)

So, the life after Gamma Knife:

1. My entire head/skull is completely numb. I can't feel a thing, not even my hair. It may be weeks or months before it comes back. It is, friends, the weirdest sensation I think I've ever felt.

2. I have to sleep on 2 pillows for at least a week to keep my head elevated. For someone who uses a limp goose-down pillow every night (which means I'm almost flat), this is a real challenge. I have maybe gotten 3 hours of sleep each night. After tonight, only 5 more nights to go. 

3. My son has aptly dubbed me "Numbskull."

4. My skull itches and I have to rub anti-itch cream into my hair and thus making a mess when I lay against anything. I carry a towel around. Interesting that an unfeeling scalp can itch and that the cream temporarily helps.

5. Today I am in a new phase of beauty. The med is running down and pooling under my eyes giving me a lovely blue/purple hue and I have my 2 pin scars on my forehead that have to heal up and I have very trendy yellow betadine highlights around and on my hairline and eyes. (Scary mommy)

6. I have to rest and elevate my head for a week. I have not left the house for 6 weeks between the bronchitis and vertigo and bad eye problems. Why should I let Richie have to give up the honor of frequenting Walmart and doing almost all of the cooking.????

7. My vertigo is getting so much better. Praise God for that.

God gets all the glory for a good outcome to the Gamma Knife procedure. We won't know how effective the treatment was til my next scan. I was anxious about it and God's fingerprints were just all over it, giving me a great team, his amazing grace and peace, and a successful outcome.

I will have Richie take a picture of me post-recovery!! I am so ready to be healthy, feel healthy, and live a restored life!

Thanks to you all for the multitude of prayers for me before and during this time of stress.

Happy April. Let spring begin!!

Gamma-Knife

It has been a tough month....maybe the worst since I had my brain radiation in 2015. Just before we were to leave on our Florida trip, I came down with a severe case of vertigo. Richie had to carry me to the bathroom. The spinning was awful. I threw up twice the first day and prayed like mad I would be over this in 5 days so I could pack. 

The flight came and went without us. By this time, I also had bronchitis and Dick had an URI. We loss our deposit, we disappointed Sam, we disappointed ourselves and I have been battling guilt because it is all due to me. I have been planning this vacation for a year---only to lose it.

I spent the next 3 weeks basically fighting vertigo, for which there is no cure. I have not been out of the house in 4 weeks, sleeping most of the time. That is my escape, the same one my Dad used. 

On the 3rd week, I developed diplopia/convergence insufficiency in my eyes and see double. This put an end to my beloved books which kills me

On Monday I will go for my scans------that would not phase usually put they are making me use a traditional MRI----the long tunnel-----which I know I couldn't get through without total panic so they have agreed to sedate me for that one. If my brain tumors are growing, they will do gamma-knife radiation on my brain the next day. I would take 10 root canals over this. I told them they will have to give me the strongest shot of sedative they have. I want to remember none of this.

I won't get into my cataract worries yet. I need to live thru the next week. You could join me in my prayers for peace and calm and no shaking from fear. I know a half dozen "DO not fear" scriptures which I'm trying to memorize. I do trust that God will put the contingent of Ekstrom angels around me both days. I will write when its all done and results are known.

Dear Sam and Gretch, who just 2 days before sold their house so they could move into the new one, got the worst news. the basements of both the new house and their own house were getting wet in this flooding. Some of my friends in Vermillion can't even get out of thie own house. Water surrounds them.

 She is alone......Sam is working in Chicago......and if I didn't have vertigo, I would be up there in a flash. A friend has been helping her. I so pray they the water damage doesn't ruin new dry wall and that they can get the carpet restored in the old house, so they can show it again. The first buyers backed out. Just ache for them.

Love to all...(ignore all the typos today. Am too weak to edit)