Monday, November 23, 2015


I feel much better than last Thanksgiving week when that evil chemo was destroying my liver, I couldn't walk stairs and had no equilibrium. I am on my old chemo and it has side effects, but I can run stairs and am not so klutzy. Some days I actually feel, at least for some hours, like my old life 5 years ago. I treasure every hour that feels "right."  

First Thanksgiving without our son. Another first-time empty nest experience to get through (and we will)! Sam and Gretch will be with her family and I'm sure they will have a great time. We will see them the next weekend, not for the holiday, but for cookie-making and tree-decorating. Should be fun!!

I haven't had the courage yet to get the Christmas decorations out-----so many made by or bought by Mom for me over the years. She made my tree skirt and gave me her Nativity set. She made my wreaths for me and gave me all her Spode Christmas china. Can you see why I don't have the courage yet? I need a day when I'm not at work to absorb the emotion and many tears that are going to come with the unpacking. She should be hanging the beautiful wall hanging she quilted for me. Yeah, this first holiday as an orphan is hard.

I truly do have a blessed life, though, when I count my many many blessings. I have an incredible husband, amazing son, sweet and beautiful bonus daughter, too many friends to count, a cozy little house, job, and a God whose healing promises have kept me alive for 3 years longer than I was supposed to live. All praise to him for all I have. So rich am I.

I have an oncology appointment on Wednesday. No test results to anticipate; for that I am thankful. Probably just a pow-wow about side effects and seeing if my doc knows anything further about the 3rd generation drug supposed to be here in a couple months.

For my loyal blog followers, I wish you a blessed holiday this week. Thanks for reading. 

Monday, November 9, 2015


Well, I have been on a double dose of chemo now for about 8 days. It has not made me any more nauseated than I am every day, but y'all know what chemo-constipation does to me. Well, now it is double that. Truly, peristalsis is dead. My blood pressure has plummeted as well, so I have had some swan-like faints. One in a jewelry store. Me splayed out in the aisle between the crystal and the thousand dollar Rolex watches. I made for much excitement with the older ladies in the store who wanted to drive me home!!! I am dedicated to do lots of blood-to-head exercises before I get up in the mornings.

Other than that, I have only to deal with the flashing lights in my eyes in the early mornings. Along with the vitreous detachment, I see a regular light show while I'm in the shower.

I can already tell that getting through these first holidays without Mom and Dad are going to be tough. While shopping for drapes at Penney's, they had on their Christmas music(I'll be Home For Christmas) and it reduced me to tears. I want to be shopping for their gifts and find out what we are having for Christmas dinner and share recipes. I know all "orphans" go through their first Christmas and make it to the other side. But it is not easy.