Thursday, March 15, 2018


We went to the city to get scan results yesterday. They were good. My brain only has 3 small tumors in the frontal lobe (down from 3 years ago when the radiation doc said,"You have too many brain tumors to count. Get your affairs in order). I have 1 tumor on the bottom-side of my left lung. It looks as if the rest in lung have calcified. Bottom line: "Stable disease." And I can stay on my half dose of chemo. My doc was pleased.

I had a light bulb moment on the drive home. I have total faith that God is going to heal me. But now, I believe He is not going to do a divine all-at-once healing. I think He is just chipping away at it little by little. Yahweh must have His reasons for this method. All I can do is trust Him. And I do.

We stopped at a car dealership on the way home. Painful. Richie liked a Subaru Outback. I did not. End of that story. The prices these days are staggering. Note the our most recent car-buying was in 2001, 17 years ago when you could still get a nice new car for $24000 or less. So we are skewed in our thinking, learning to accept that car prices rose significantly without us knowing!! It will be a miracle if we agree on anything.

In the meantime, one car is working out fine. We just took it in and Bob, our mechanic, gave it a physical, did $300 of change-outs (plugs, etc) and proclaimed it in fine shape. We are ready to take her on a road trip. Most people would not trust a 200,000 mile 17-year-old car for a road trip, but Rosie has never let us down.

God's fingerprints were all over our trip cancellation. We followed our route down (weather) and now are following what would have been our week in Florida. We would have traveled in rain 5 days out of 7, driving through the bottom edge of that Nor'easter, and ending up in an unusual week in Florida, with highs in the mid 60's and 1 day of rain. They only have 1 day this week scheduled for 70 degrees. I am too tense to drive in rain so my husband would have had to do nearly all the driving. Just like God told me to cancel our 2 planned trips to Savannah, both of which had hurricanes the weeks we were supposed to be there, I believe He saved us from a crummy and cool vacation.

I have GAINED 4 POUNDS!! Yippee! 5 more to shoot for!!

Happy St. Paddy's Day. 

Thursday, March 8, 2018


I am breaking through the gray and black and seeing the light above me. I feel so much better than when I last posted. Isolating myself and dealing with all this physical and emotional stuff has been good for me.

Between influenza, incessant coughing, and blizzards, I have had to re-schedule my brain scan 5 times in 3 weeks. I was on for this Friday, and very relieved the scan would be over and then they called yesterday and canceled because their radiologist couldn't be there. SO. Monday it is. Unless we have another snowstorm.

I did have another appointment with my palliative care team and the bottom line is that I told them I took myself off Hydrocodone completely and I feel so much better without it. The pain is not worse without it, so why take it? Nourishing my body is #1 goal. What they want me to eat goes against everything I believe in and the opposite of how I have cooked and eaten for 30 years. She wants me to bulk up on butter, whole milk (ugh), cream, high protein items, ice cream, Ensure shakes, etc. I have gained 3 pounds this week already, doing the diet. I have to eat every 2 hours, even if it is an inch of banana with peanut butter.

 She told me to make pies and cookies and eat them liberally (my husband, sitting next to me, grinned sheepishly and said, "Pecan pie?" and she laughed and said, "Yes, by all means, and put ice cream on it." Well, THAT is not going to happen. One night I ate a small caramel-chocolate ball and almost wanted to puke  from the sugar. When you haven't used sugar for as long as I have (4 months), anything sweet makes you sort of sick. Richie made me some pudding (cooked, not instant) and I can get about 1/4 cup of that down pretty easily. So we are keeping pudding on hand. I think pecan pie, the sweetest of ALL desserts, will have to wait. 

All of these suggestions were given to me days before by Anna, my niece, who works in palliative care and knew exactly what I needed to nourish myself. I am so grateful to her

Richie is done with his strong antibiotics to counteract the cellulitis and MRSA. His finger is better, but not healed yet. He thinks he is going to lose the nail.

We finally, after 3 weeks, got resolution from the insurance about the totaled car yesterday. They are not quick to act when they are paying out......

We stopped at 2 dealerships when we were in the city one day, and looked at a few things. If we ever agree on an automobile, it will be a miracle. Truly. We are looking for such different things. Oh, I detest this car shopping. I think we are doing fine with our one 17-year-old Caravan, and I don't see the need to hurry the decision.

Sam got the call for 2 of the quarter-final and 2 of the semi-final games (in the top class) at the MN State Hockey tournament starting tonight and tomorrow night. And then he got the call to broadcast the championship game in the class below the top class. We are so proud. We can't wait to hear him on live stream radio.

We canceled our trip because we were both not 100%. And for the 3rd time, God's fingerprints were all over that decision. We would have been traveling this whole week in a SE direction. We have tracked every day where we would have been traveling, and it has been cool and 80% rain in every location. I don't drive in rain other than a drizzle so Richie would have had to drive most of the way. We would not have enjoyed any of the scenery at all. The other two times we had plans to go to Savannah, God gave me the impression I was supposed to cancel. Both times, there was a hurricane the week we would have gone.. SO thankful for His guidance.

When we are both 100% healed in every way, we are going to drive down to the Grand Canyon, which neither of us have seen.

I thank all of you who prayed for me in this gray season. I felt your prayers.

When I get my scan results, I will let you know.

God bless you all.