The visions started the week after Dad died. They were not hazy or indistinct. They were vivid and detailed. They lay on the surface of my mind in bed, and they swirl around me when I walk.
My "healing party."
My "to God be all the glory" celebration.
The season I have had faith will be manifested in my life for 4 years now.
I have been asking God lately, "Does this mean it is soon?" He does not answer me. I would not need to hold onto faith if He spoke, would I.
Satan has done his level best to derail me in the past 6 weeks. Growing tumors, and new ones encapsulating my life-giving bronchial artery have, from a medical point of view, all but removed my name from the short-list of possible-but-not-really names eligible for divine healing. Medically speaking, my cancer is accelerating.
That reality sent me down into the abyss for the entire month of September and the first week of October, as the side effects of a let's-try-radiation desperation measure wreaked havoc on my body and soul. As my brother Mike so aptly puts it, I've been walking in the bottom of the bird cage.
But I see small improvements daily, and find myself walking steadily OUT of the bottom of the bird cage. And I am washing the doo-doo off the bottom of my shoes right in the devil's face.
And as I climb, the Holy Spirit has given me these visions. Visions that mock medical reality. Visions of life and joy and celebrating God's faithfulness to a woman who deserves nothing, but has hung on for dear life, knowing that God is true to His promises, and He promises deliverance.
I already have roles assigned. I have Sam on drums, Gretchen and my friend Ju and Dick singing praise songs with the band, my awesome pastor Steve giving the introduction, me introducing the 6 people who have been inside my inner-inner circle for 4 years and without whom I would not be alive, Dick and me giving our healing testimony.
I see it all clearly.
I even have food ideas swirling about for this event.
It is as real to me as my family or my home. And I know it will come to pass.
Because Psalm 91 (and dozens more references) promises redemption from all Satan can hand me. And all I need to do is to continue to love my God and trust Him with my whole heart.
BECAUSE HE LOVES ME, says the Lord, I WILL RESCUE HIM.
I WILL PROTECT HIM, FOR HE ACKNOWLEDGES MY NAME.
HE WILL CALL UPON ME AND I WILL ANSWER HIM;
I WILL BE WITH HIM IN TROUBLE,
I WILL DELIVER HIM AND HONOR HIM.
WITH LONG LIFE I WILL SATISFY HIM AND SHOW HIM MY SALVATION!!