Friday, May 1, 2015

STRUGGLING

I don't think it has been this tough for 4 years. I feel like my body has betrayed me. Juggling this many symptoms has left me struggling. I continue to have severe muscle weakness (I did impress myself being able to walk up 2 belabored steps unassisted this week). My mind continues to be very fuzzy and I feel "disconnected" to my body in most ways. My body is still bloated. And now extreme fatigue has set in, expected after brain radiation. All I want to do is sleep. I am even falling asleep while reading a book (avid readers do NOT do this!). My energy level is nil, and I am struggling with depression creeping around my spirit, trying to cope with all this.

I am trying to let the Lord battle for me, as I have no energy for active prayer right now. I have my warriors praying for and around me, and they are what keep me afloat. It is a time of silence, waiting on God to show up. 

I have a lung scan on Monday to see what is happening in that realm. 

My prayer request would be that I do not spiral into depression right now. That would exacerbate every other symptom, and I fear it would pull me under. Thanks.

4 comments:

Rachel J said...

Praying, praying, praying,

Allison said...

Oh Mary! We continue to lift you up in prayer each day. Thank you for keeping us updated and informing us on how best to pray for you. Hugs from Kansas!!!!! (5 exclamation points...one hug from each of us)

Anonymous said...

Praying for you here in PA Mary. Just drift.... do not think now. Sending happy feelings and peace to you.
Love Mollie

Candace Driggers said...

Continuing to pray for you daily and whenever you come to mind, which is often I just whisper "Lord, be with her!"