Sunday, February 17, 2019

HAVE HAD BETTER WEEKS


If ever there was a bad week, I am having one. On Tuesday, I was told I will need cataract surgery. This, folks, terrifies me. Always has. The thought of anyone cutting on my eye gives me all-out anxiety. And I know I need it....my vision keeps deteriorating in my right eye, more to chemo side effects than normal aging. I deferred the big 3-hour evaluation til after Florida since I can't wear contacts for 2 weeks prior to the eval. If they could just knock me out.....but I understand I will be awake, but unaware. What if I do become aware? O, man, this is not what I wanted to hear. I could worry myself into a total panic.

Then the next day, I woke up with a raging case of vertigo. Richie had to carry me to the bathroom. I could not sit up, walk, bend or turn on head. It has never been this bad. I finally vomited at about 10:00 from the spinning. Needless to say, I spent the entire day on my back, mostly sleeping and watching the ceiling. It was slightly improved the next day but even today I still am woozy, unsteady on my feet, and feeling as if my head is unattached to my body. I am praying so hard that God will heal the vertigo totally before we leave on our trip. I could not go like this. I'd be a liability.

I spent Valentine's Day in bed again, and was once again reminded what love really looks like. It is not flowers and chocolates and fancy dinners out. It is having a husband who meets your every need, bringing me a vomit bowl (then, without a word, taking it and dumping it out, cleaning it, and returning it to me), wipes to clean my mouth, gum to take the edge off my rotten breath,  a phone to have next to me, ice water, bathroom carries, holding me up by the armpit when I tried to walk. This, friends, is true love. You newlyweds are rolling your eyes now, but your time will come when this becomes a reality for you too. Real love, real commitment.  I am so blessed with Richie.

I am able to sit still on this computer chair and type this without spinning today. I am grateful for that. It feels like improvement.

If you are a pray-er I would relish your prayers for quick healing of this awful vertigo.

Thanks.

1 comment:

Linda said...

Sorry you have such severe side effects from your chemo. Just sent you an email. Hang in there!
Love you,
Linda