PRAISING GOD

Any of you who have been following this blog for any length of time will know that I have been given an amazing gift of faith for my healing. Romans 10:17 tells us that faith comes through hearing the word of God, and indeed, that was all I needed to stake my faith in His promises. I have been taking God at His word, not knowing the timing of when He would reveal the healing, but believing it was mine before I saw any physical manifestation of it.

I have had faith for the healing of my vitreous detachment, which has given my right eye very blurry vision, my cancer, and my knee pain.

And tonight, I can tell you that God has healed one of those. My knee pain is gone. After 3 orthopedic evaluations and an MRI, none of which yielded the cause, and 19 months of 24/7 pain and locking, my knee is healed. 

Today I can put my legs together with my toes pointed forward for the first time in 19 months. Today I can walk without pain. Today I have no locking. Today I can put all my weight on my right leg for the first time in nearly 2 years.

Praise God.

In late August, I told Dick that I had better make that appointment for the arthroscopy that they recommended in May. He told me not to. He told me to wait.

And 3 weeks ago, I began noticing the change. And the healing seems to be complete.

I love what Jesus said to Martha when they were about to roll away Lazarus' stone. He said, "Didn't I tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God?"

Jesus says it to me, and He says it to you. 

If you believe (and when you wait on Him) in His word, you will be able to proclaim His glory for what He will do for you.

I serve an awesome God. And because of His power and authority and faithfulness to His own promises, I have my knee healing.

All glory to my Creator.

HEALING TRUTH

I have come to the point of feeling that one of the greatest frustrations for me spiritually is listening to people talk about healing who adhere to the gross Christian misrepresentation that God is glorified in illness.

It was at my women's Bible study, and the subject came up as a spider-webbed side-track. As much as I would have loved to share the truth in Scripture about this, it would have taken our study in a direction it is not meant to go. So I just listened, and remembered that I used to be all of them. I used to buy into Satan's great lie that God is glorified in sickness.

Oh, how sad it is when people believe this.

There is NOTHING in the gospels anywhere which supports this. Not in one instance did Jesus EVER say, "No, your leprosy glorifies my Father, so you need to hang onto that," or " 'Fraid not, sonny, your blindness brings God so much glory.....I just can't consider healing you."

Jesus came to earth to do his Father's will. He was the exact representation of the Father's will here on earth. He did nothing but his Father's will. 

And he healed.

Everyone who asked.

"Oh, you poor thing.....bleeding for so many years.....I know you touched my garment in hopes that I would heal you....but that bleeding does my Father in heaven so much good... he is so glorified by it that I have to let you continue to bleed."

IT DID NOT HAPPEN LIKE THAT! 

I wanted to tell my Bible study-mates that God is no more glorified by illness than He is by sin. He does not tell people to continue to wallow in sin because it glorifies His father. And He does not tell people to continue to be sick because it glorifies His father.

As if His work on earth was not tell-tale enough for Christians to read and discern for themselves that healing is the thing that glorifies God, Jesus made one epic comment which should seal the deal for any doubters.

Lazarus had died and Jesus went there at the urging of his sisters. They blamed Him for not coming earlier. 

Did Jesus say that Lazarus' sickness and death was glorifying God? NO! 

When he heard the sisters' grief, Jesus told the family that Lazarus' life would not end with this illness, but that Lazarus' resurrection/ healing would glorify God, and in turn glorify Himself, God's son. It was the HEALING that would do the glorifying!

How much clearer can it be that Jesus got no honor and praise for sickness. He got no honor for sin either. He hated both sin and sickness and healed and saved all who asked Him.

If sickness glorifies God more than healing, then any attempt Christians make to get well would be an effort to rob God of the glory we should want Him to have.

If sickness glorifies God, then we should rather be sick than well.

If sickness glorifies God, Jesus robbed His Father of all the glory He possibly could by healing everyone.

We do not glorify God in our spirit by remaining in sin, and we do not glorify God in our body by remaining sick.

If I had bought into this theological misspeak 3 years ago, I would be long dead by now. I used to believe this, until I studied God's Word about the whole issue. The Bible clears this up pretty easily, and I am so thankful that He led me to the truth.

As healing evangelist T.L.Osborne says, "Let us not stand by the bed of the sick to sympathize with their pains. Let us never insinuate that it must be God's will to "take them," or that "it will teach them patience," or that perhaps "they will be drawn closer to the Lord" through their sickness. Let us rather declare war on every form of sickness and take authority over it through the name of Jesus Christ. Let us minister deliverance to those in need of healing."

The true glory, according to the Bible, that God receives is when his children are saved and healed and redeemed from the devil's schemes and lies.

My spider-webbed side-track here got a little long-winded. But I am alive today to BE long-winded only because I don't think my incurable cancer glorifies God in the least. 

OURS FOR THE TAKING

My folks sold and moved out of their condo in May. It was stressful, labor-intensive and emotionally taxing for them as well as my brothers and me, who helped them with the final leave-taking. We laughed some, we cried more, and I’d like to believe we accomplished the task with grace.

          You learn many lessons about the fabric of your family when your parents pack up their home and move out. You hear heartbreaking stories about families being torn apart over “things”…..who gets Dad’s desk or the antique bedroom set or the patio furniture. The experience is a real test of values and relationships and there was an unspoken determination between us kids that this right-of-passage would not generate any splinters between us.

          I am profoundly grateful that my siblings and I didn’t have one contentious word over the division of the home's contents. Mom and Dad could only take so much to their new apartment in a senior living facility, so we three kids got more than we ever even wanted! What remained we donated or left for the new owners. Since my brothers and I have different needs, tastes and amounts of space in our homes, we each chose different things. My folks were so happy to see things being “claimed” that if Dad saw one of us even contemplating an item, he would say, “Take it! It’s yours!”

          My parents have always been unbelievably generous and this move was no exception. They could have pocketed the cash from an estate sale or could have made a big charitable donation and taken an income tax deduction. But they did neither. They wanted us to have anything we wanted. They were so happy for each of us to have the treasures we had always loved from home.

          Being given so much through this move reminded me of what the Lord has told us in Scripture about His own storehouse of “goods.” He has gifts of unspeakable worth that He will mete out to us simply for the asking. (Ask what you wish me to give you! 1 Kings 3:5)  He has promised us gifts such as peace, love, guidance, wisdom, joy, faithfulness, self-control, deliverance from generational strongholds, gentleness, discernment, patience, protection from temptation, paths through pain, healing, our heart’s desires, a purpose, and eternal life.

          I don’t know about you, but occasionally I forget that God is a generous, benevolent father. He wants me to have whatever resources from the heavenly arsenal that I want and need. All I need to do is ask for these things. Yet sometimes I don’t. Instead of praying for patience, I blame myself for lack of it. Instead of looking for his comfort and encouragement in tough times, I resign myself to increased anxiety. I can forget about God’s repository.

          I think my parents would have felt heartbroken if we kids had not wanted any of the cherished family belongings. I believe God feels the same way. 

         The Lord has heaven’s treasures in reserve, waiting for us. If we lack them, it is because we don’t pursue them and claim them. God’s coffers are full. Our credit, if we have faith in Him, is excellent and I imagine He is just yearning to whisper to us, “Take it. It’s yours.”

And we can be confident that He will listen to us whenever 

we ask for anything in line with His will. 

If we know He is listening when we make our requests known, 

we can be sure He will give us what we ask for.

1 John 5:14-15

THIRTY

Today, I have been married for 30 years. (And where did THAT time go?)

I guess I have some thoughts about the milestone, lessons I've learned along the way....


* I've learned that as much as I would like "to be right" all the time, I'm not.

* Marriage has brought out the best in me----and the worst in me. But I know that no matter how selfish or frustrating or unforgiving I have ever been, there is always forgiveness, always love, on Dick's end. 

* I've learned that contentment in my marriage hasn't been based on what the savings account reads or how many things on the honey-do list are crossed off or how many gifts my husband buys me. It has been based on the fact that we dream the same dreams, love the same things, share the same values, and can catch each other's eye across a room and know the other's thoughts.

* Marriage has both humbled me and given me wings.

* I've learned that the grief we've shared through the valleys of infertility, depression, a bad business deal and a cancer diagnosis has only created a deeper bond between us. I've learned that you don't really know your spouse completely until you see his level of strength, integrity, and faith in the face of the worst life can throw at you.

* I've learned that you don't make it 30 years without a lot of work, compromise, chemistry, and friendship. You don't sustain a marriage without effort. You can have a good marriage without work. You can have a great marriage with work.

* I would never have believed 30 years ago that there are some things about marriage that just keep getting better with age. 'Nuf said.

* I knew I was in love with Dick on our wedding day. I never knew that I would fall in love with him all over again the first time I saw our newborn son sleeping on his chest, or when he made the bold choice to have unwavering faith in my healing.

* Maybe the greatest lesson 30 years of marriage has taught me is that love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. Love is an action and a decision. True love is choosing to honor and respect each other even if there are hours or even days when we don't FEEL loving. It is making an intentional loving choice apart from the fickle brain chemicals we call "feelings."

* I am blessed that with Christ as the center of our relationship, we have had access to every God-given tool and resource we have ever needed to walk hand-in-hand through the unique and winding seasons of our thirty years together. Our partnership has been solid because we have always known that God, not each other, is the most important relationship in our individual lives.

I praise God for 30 years with my husband. I praise Him for refining us and supporting us along the way. I praise Him for blessing these years with an amazing child, jobs, homes and friends.

Happy Anniversary, Richie. I love you past the moon.

HAVING FUN WITH CANCER

My insurance requires a yearly fall "health assessment." It is a requirement that you really can't get out of. So I drove down to the university student center where they were held and got matched up with a young nurse named Brian. 

He did his thing and ran a print-off of my results, which he is required to talk to me about. Brian was citing my results and how good they were.....I had "perfect" cholesterol, perfect BMI, perfect blood pressure, perfect weight, no risk for diabetes, etc.

"You have straight A's across the board here, as you can see here. You really do have perfect health."

There aren't many opportunities to have fun with incurable cancer, but I couldn't resist the moment.

I looked at Brian and said, "Well, as a matter of fact, I really don't have perfect health. I have stage 4 cancer."

His jaw dropped and his mouth went agape and he just stared at me. "You DO?"

"I do. But you know what? I have faith that God is healing me and that I WILL have perfect health again, so I accept your assessment wholeheartedly. You have a great day."

I turned around and left him staring at me as I walked out giggling.

+++++++++++++++++++++

I had the opportunity this week to lay hands on someone and pray for their healing. I take the mandate in Mark 16:17-18 seriously that those who are believers in Jesus Christ need to "lay hands on the sick and they shall recover." The verse says nothing about us believers having any power to heal in and of ourselves, but that God can and will use us as His instruments.

It was an employee at my cancer center who was in great pain and I asked her if I could pray for her and she readily said, "Yes, I would love that." She had tears rolling down her cheeks as I prayed and she hugged me afterwards. I left right after that and do not know if her pain subsided, but it is not important for me to know the results. That is all up to God. I am just trying to walk in obedience. It is always such an honor to pray for healing for people and to talk to them about God's promises for healing in the Bible.

++++++++++++++++++++

Had a good appointment with my oncologist. As much as I think the world of him, I did flat out tell him that I did not think I needed to see him so often. I proposed seeing him 4 times a year (I am grateful to be a doctor's kid who has no hesitation in challenging the care plan of a physician.....no pedestals I see). That's what I wanted and that's what I got!! I also reminded him that he WOULD see me healed one day. I don't think he sees divine healing in his practice.

I intend to be the first.

SACRED SQUIRMING

Sofas and pastors.

I tend to be elated when they are polar opposites.

I few years ago, we went sofa shopping. The first salesman said to us, "What style and color are you looking for?"

"We really don't care about color or style," I answered.

With a questioning look on his face he said, "Well, what ARE you looking for?"

"Comfort," I replied. "That's all we want. It just has to be super comfortable."

"Well," he said, smiling as he walked away, "I guess I really can't help you at all."

This is the same way I used to shop for a church and pastor many years ago. I wanted to feel comfortable. I would venture to guess many people use that same criteria. But I am a convert to uneasiness. I will never again use comfort as a measuring stick to decide where to worship.

Feeling comfortable with the church family and leadership? Of course. There needs to be respect, love, fun, and mutual caring. But beyond that camaraderie? Nope. Comfortable is not in my equation any more. 

I have been in churches that have tried to be so comfortable, so "user friendly," that they either changed their name so as not to offend anyone, watered down the gospel  or became so PC that there were no longer any moral absolutes mentioned. Sure it was comfortable. Nothing was expected of you, nothing was taught to be moved by. Sermons in those churches were Feel Good 101. 

What I know to be true is that we can never be more as Christians and disciples of Christ without heeding those hard sayings, those difficult mandates of Jesus. And doing so does not always feel good.

The pastor that put me on this path was a dynamic young man named Cory who pulled me WAY beyond my comfort zone as I soaked up all he had to share about Jesus and how to be sold out to Him. Cory pointed me to biblical truths that rocked my understandings and dared me to step into a discipleship mode that was nowhere close to comfortable. I had to deal with new understandings in areas like sin, cross-centered living, holiness, and forgiveness. But it grew me in Christ to a depth I had never approached before  Because of his ability to make me squirm, my prayer life was transformed, I fell deeper in love with Jesus, I went on my first mission trip, and I started memorizing verse after verse after verse of Scripture.

Soul-agitation is not like cuddling up into a soft pillowed microfiber sofa.

Scripture is laced with God's declarations that we will experience journeys of despair and affliction and bondage in this life. After all, Satan is in business, open 24/7, and never delegates his schemes to lesser demons. He tries his best to makes believers' lives miserable.

To traverse those jagged and harrowing roads, I know I need the faith-deepening maturity that comes through spiritual discomfort.  "Comfortable" simply does not push me to get "my roots to grow down into Him and draw nourishment from Him so I will grow in faith, strong and vigorous in the truth I was taught." (Col 2:7)

We have a new pastor at our church. I had been feeling way too comfortable in my spiritual walk, and I worried that a new pastor would not "bring the goods" that I really needed right now. Truth be told, we were ready to look at other church options.

Steve has only been here 6 weeks. The verdict was out on him about one week in. We all love him. He is a mover and a shaker. His sermons flow with the Holy Spirit's anointing. He is charismatic and energetic and grounded in the mandates and promises of Jesus. He speaks bottom-line truth about how to practically live out the "hard sayings" of Jesus.

And most importantly for me personally, he has made me squirm. He has brought tears to my eyes. Every Sunday he is reminding us of truths that need to be heeded and internalized, because they are things we all get too complacent about. At least I sure do.

Steve is an amazingly easy person to be comfortable around. But on Sunday mornings, he is not there to make us comfortable. He is there for soul-agitation. Man, that feels good again!! How blessed are we as a church!!

I love being in this place where God, through my pastor, is free to shake me up and test me and lead me into greater intimacy with Him. When comfort is a gauge, this cannot happen. I want to "keep working toward the day when I will finally be all that Christ save me for and wants me to be." (Phil 3:12)

Sofas? I want cushy and soft. Pastors? I want them to challenge me to squirm and grow.

A LITTLE ABOUT NOTHIN', REALLY

After many hours of "working with it," I have mastered as much of Windows 8 as I need for daily life. I'd readily switch back to Windows 7 if it were an option, but it was an inevitable change that I needed to adapt to, and I did. Why do computer engineers try to think of ways of making operating systems MORE complex instead of less?

For as much of a non-techie person as I am, I am proud to have learned it without help (except for one youtube video on how to transfer the control panel to the newly designed desktop without the handy "start" icon....thank you, youtube). My chemo did not take all function from me.

***

A week ago I was asked to give the afternoon lecture at a gathering of the state meeting of nursing home activity directors. Ahhhh.....it was so good to be teaching gerontology again!

The year of my diagnosis, I gave up pretty much all work as I was dealing with so many medical appointments and procedures and had significant chemo brain which rendered me word-searching and memory-challenged. I was not up for embarrassing myself and worried, frankly, that I may never be able to regain my gerontological knowledge base again.

Last fall our church put on an 8-week seminar on aging and I taught 4 of the 8 sessions. I took the leap of faith and proved to myself that it had all come back. I felt so great to impart the knowledge I have with others needing it.

Last week's talk reminded me again of how much I love practicing my craft and how much I have missed it these past 3 years. I am hoping to get some more training opportunities through people who were at the meeting.

I am so thankful to God for protecting my body and my brain through those nasty first rounds of chemo.

 ***

Our family went to a Vikings game this weekend. Though a miserable outcome, we had a blast being a part of the downtown Minneapolis excitement on Sunday morning. Sam's best friend James was able to join us for one last game at Mall of America Field (still the Metrodome to me).

Row 11, 50 yard line seats were amazing. Many thanks to my nephew Billy!

***

I am planning to celebrate my October birthday by flying to Georgia to see my friend Susan. I am SO excited! If I could just not fly to get there, it would be perfect. But, that's why they created Xanax, right?