THIRTY

Today, I have been married for 30 years. (And where did THAT time go?)

I guess I have some thoughts about the milestone, lessons I've learned along the way....


* I've learned that as much as I would like "to be right" all the time, I'm not.

* Marriage has brought out the best in me----and the worst in me. But I know that no matter how selfish or frustrating or unforgiving I have ever been, there is always forgiveness, always love, on Dick's end. 

* I've learned that contentment in my marriage hasn't been based on what the savings account reads or how many things on the honey-do list are crossed off or how many gifts my husband buys me. It has been based on the fact that we dream the same dreams, love the same things, share the same values, and can catch each other's eye across a room and know the other's thoughts.

* Marriage has both humbled me and given me wings.

* I've learned that the grief we've shared through the valleys of infertility, depression, a bad business deal and a cancer diagnosis has only created a deeper bond between us. I've learned that you don't really know your spouse completely until you see his level of strength, integrity, and faith in the face of the worst life can throw at you.

* I've learned that you don't make it 30 years without a lot of work, compromise, chemistry, and friendship. You don't sustain a marriage without effort. You can have a good marriage without work. You can have a great marriage with work.

* I would never have believed 30 years ago that there are some things about marriage that just keep getting better with age. 'Nuf said.

* I knew I was in love with Dick on our wedding day. I never knew that I would fall in love with him all over again the first time I saw our newborn son sleeping on his chest, or when he made the bold choice to have unwavering faith in my healing.

* Maybe the greatest lesson 30 years of marriage has taught me is that love is not a feeling. Love is a choice. Love is an action and a decision. True love is choosing to honor and respect each other even if there are hours or even days when we don't FEEL loving. It is making an intentional loving choice apart from the fickle brain chemicals we call "feelings."

* I am blessed that with Christ as the center of our relationship, we have had access to every God-given tool and resource we have ever needed to walk hand-in-hand through the unique and winding seasons of our thirty years together. Our partnership has been solid because we have always known that God, not each other, is the most important relationship in our individual lives.

I praise God for 30 years with my husband. I praise Him for refining us and supporting us along the way. I praise Him for blessing these years with an amazing child, jobs, homes and friends.

Happy Anniversary, Richie. I love you past the moon.