I do not blame my son who says, even tongue-in-cheek, that he fears for his life because his mother has become Job. Job lost everything, and then lost his entire family. Don't think that Satan is incapable of doing that again. Seriously, he is out to claim victory over me.
On Saturday, I had a second large vitreous detachment in my one good eye, the eye I have relied on heavily the past year since my right eye has been so compromised from last November's vitreous detachment. It is almost too much to tell about the grief I feel over the need to learn how to do life without clear vision.
I spent my birthday on Sunday at the eye doctor, and in tears, trying to absorb the immediate reality of this loss. I ask you, Satan, what more will you attempt to steal, kill and destroy of mine?
I have not tried to drive. If I cannot, I can no longer drive to Fargo to visit my parents or even go into the city to do errands. This loss would be huge.
It is clear in Scripture that the Lord ALLOWED Satan to take everything from Job. He clearly has allowed Satan to do it to me as well. God could have prevented this. I do not understand His ways....they are always far above my own ways and thoughts. But I thought perhaps He knew that I have already reached my limit of endurance the past 3 years.
I had to cancel my long-awaited and planned-for flight to Georgia today. Another huge loss.
When Dick came in the house for lunch this noon, he said, "Mary, the word I got from the Lord is that you are to rejoice in all things, in all circumstances, and that He will get all the glory when He heals your eyes. And He WILL heal your eyes, because God's promises for healing are His word, and He cannot lie."
So, for right now, I am resting in God's arms, trying to muster up the courage to praise Him in this, letting the Holy Spirit just minister to me, and praying for strength to accept what feels unacceptable.
And the well-known verse from Job that I carry in my heart right now? 23:10. AFTER HE HAS TESTED ME, I SHALL COME FORTH AS GOLD.
May it be so.