I have put myself in self-imposed seclusion this week. It is my own personal rescue operation. I am spending many hours talking with the Lord, reading Scripture, dusting myself off from the grief of Sunday's reality, and trying to get back on the faith horse. I am spending time doing "normal" things that need to be tried with the "new eyes".....reading, writing, walking, watching TV. I am training myself in the new normal, praying for God to remove the intense self-awareness of the "greasy blobs" floating around in my vision.
The bottom line has been God's question posed to me: MARY, CAN YOU TRUST ME? That is the fundamental question right now, and one that I have taken days to answer.
I wish I could say that the doubts did not creep in. They did. But this period of seclusion with God from the outside world has helped me toss them out.
Here's where I am. If I have complete faith in the Word of God which promises healing for my cancer and my right eye, why wouldn't I have faith for both eyes? Like God is only Healer enough for one side of my face? I mean, how shallow would my faith be? There are no limits on my God of abundance for total healing, and I expect it. BOTH EYES. LUNG TUMOR. ALL of it.
So with that backbone in place again, I now just pray that God will help me adjust to living with the blurriness until the day He chooses the healing. I welcome any prayers along that line.
Appreciate your vision, friends. Every day. Every hour. It is more precious than you know.