Friday, November 23, 2012


I thought there would be a season where all the physical problems would end. I have fantasized that at some moment, all of the adjunct issues I have faced in 2 years (on top of the cancer) would wean themselves out of my body forever. I cannot even begin to list the number of things that have happened to this tired body since my diagnosis. But the end is not in sight. I have had yet one more issue to face. A vitreous detachment in my right eye last Saturday. The optometrist told me that some people find some improvement over 6 months to a year, and that the hyper-sensitivity to the distortion of vision every few seconds will get easier to tolerate over time. All I know right now is that it is a huge loss for me. I so value my 20/20 vision with contacts and glasses, and to have that compromised, especially for an avid reader like myself, feels like a heavy load to carry right now.

I can spend time saying, "Why ME? Why one more thing? Why such a big thing?" but it gets me no where. God didn't "send this" into my life to teach me something. I am just so so weary of facing yet another problem, and one that, indeed, has no cure. Except for God's healing. And that is what I am having faith in. I have faith for my right knee and my cancer to be healed. I now have to add distorted vision to my laundry list. Jesus was an expert at healing the blind. This should be no stretch for Him. It is in that faith that I can even move forward right now. Everything I do in my life is based on vision, and it is not good right now.

I would covet your prayers for tolerance right now. Prayers that I could cope with layers of issues that always threaten to pull me down. Prayers that God's grace would provide some sort of peace over this until healing comes.


Cole said...

I've absolutely been in prayer and will not stop. I thank Him every day for the healing that has already begun in your body and trust Him to finish this good work that He started.

His faithfulness never ceases to amaze me and I know the pile of physical pains, diseases, and illnesses will not be any different. The common theme I have seen to everything attacking you physically is that there is, seemingly, no "cure" for any of it. That's where HE shines through...there will be no denying (by anyone who may have doubts) that HE is responsible for your complete healing! I can only imagine how many people will be impacted and inspired by your faith and by God's fulfillment of our prayers and solid faith in His healing ability.

Love you, Mary!

Chris Druin said...

Praying for your eyesight, for you, and your healing!!
Psalms 16:8. I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
Love u , Mary!!

Anonymous said...

Mary, I am saddened to hear of your vitreous detachment of your right eye. I will pray for your healing, strength and patience to deal with this new challenge.
Love to you,

Anonymous said...

Mare, My heart hurts to hear this news! I will pray for you each night and whisper you name to the stars to give you strength.
Love you so much good buddy!