I feel like I am the protagonist of a book, not called "Where's Waldo?" but called, "What's Happened to Mary Today?"
I feel like I am the star of a bad movie, each scene offering another side effect, problem, pain.
So. Things have been worse than I ever dreamed. I have been walking down the path of liver failure without any knowledge, brought about by the chemo that is supposed to be shrinking cancer tumors.
When I picked up my blood work results yesterday, I noticed 3 values that were over-the-top high that are related to kidney/liver function. (For example, my alkaline phosphotase, with a normal high limit of 150, was 773.) I mean these 3 were off the charts.
They faxed the results to my doctor and I waited for a call back.
GET OFF THE CHEMO RIGHT NOW.
Well, folks, if you don't think God makes decisions clear, think again.
From a human standpoint, the choice is: growing stage 4 lung tumors or liver failure? Gee, what should I choose?
From God: Trust me, daughter. Do not fear. This is all in My hands.
I will get a blood draw in 1 week to see where the levels are. In the meantime, Dick's and my obvious pray is that there has been no permanent liver damage from this.
This makes the trip to Colorado (still waiting on them to call) even more significant, because if there are no other drugs in clinical trials, then I am God's. All His, to heal or not to heal. I have had faith for 4 years that it will be HEAL. Maybe this is where the rubber meets the road.
I know it will take several days for the drug's side effects to leave my body, but I am looking ahead to a day of no abdominal pain or queasiness or malaise. And it would be more than wonderful if peristalsis (which has been totally dead for 4 years) would return.
Satan is not writing this story, even though he wants to be. This is God's story, a story of HIS glory, and while the devil slithers onto each and every page, he knows he has been defeated and that he is a footstool under the Almighty's feet. At the name of Jesus, he bows. The pen is still in God's hands.
We'll see what the next page brings. Thank you for praying for any liver damage.