Friday, April 27, 2012
JUST ONE MORE THING
My body and mind are tired of dealing with more "issues." The orthopedist is referring me to a colleague who is an oncological orthopedist and deals with radiation side effects. My right leg has lost 1", which is not a good sign. Something is degenerating or collapsing and we need the truth. I keep wondering if the chemo or the new bone drug I am taking is contributing to this. (Ask me how ticked I will be if that is true). So on May 9th, I will do that. I have to admit being pretty down yesterday, but I had to keep reminding myself that this is man's view, not God's view. He can heal my leg as surely as I believe He is healing my cancer. In the wake of all that news, I forgot to take my chemo last night until 4 hours later and when I did, it was on an empty stomach with not enough water. The pill got stuck in my esophagus, causing great pain and heartburn. I spent the night mostly awake, vomiting and fainting and trying to bear the pain in my upper stomach. I've spent the day today on the sofa with workmen in the kitchen in and out....I didn't even care. Am just too mentally and physically spent. Some days, like today, I just want to wake up and have cancer be a bad dream.