Wednesday, August 7, 2013


As the day of my 3rd anniversary (of the cancer diagnosis) looms this weekend, I can't help but be reflective of what might have been.

He might be getting out of bed with a heavy heart, his memories of that day fresh on his mind. Perhaps he would spend some time on the deck where the members of his family sat and cried 3 years ago, their world altered by a seismic shift called cancer which moved the earth beneath them.

In an instant, light was bounding off the walls of their souls and morphing into dark gray shadows.

They were the three musketeers. How would the two of them go on living without the third? How would he be both father and mother to their son? How would he be able to bury all the dreams she and he had?

He might be walking his woods with tears in his eyes remembering how summers used to feel at this place he and she loved so much. He might be walking over the area where her ashes were scattered.

That was the script Satan had written for him. For them.

My husband. My son.

A funeral around November of 2011 was to be the ending chapter of the trio's story, and their new lives, widowed and motherless, were to begin at that time.

But my husband, my son....

They never read the book. They did not pick up the devil's screenplay.

They chose to have faith in God's promises for healing. They chose to let God, not Satan, write the ending of the story.

Three years later, the fearsome threesome are still a family united. Three years later there is still life and love and laughter woven into this family.

And grace. So much grace.

And unwavering faith.

And gratitude.

And trust.

Trust that God is true to His promises.
Trust that His pen is not finished writing the story.
Trust that "I shall not die, but live, and proclaim what the Lord has done." (Ps 118:17)

Happy, indeed, anniversary to me.

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,
the anguish of the grave came over me;
I was overcome by trouble and sorrow,
Then I called on the name of the Lord;
"Oh Lord, save me!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous;
our God is full of compassion.
The Lord protects the simple hearted;
when I was in great need, he saved me.
(Psalm 116:1-6)


Cole said...

Oh Mary...I'm sitting here crying at the beauty of your words but more than that I'm crying tears of joy for the beauty that God has made out of the ashes of all of those "shoulda been's". Praise the Lord & happy anniversary indeed!

Anonymous said...

Mare, this took my breath away! Indeed- HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY aniversary my dear dear friend!!!!
Love you!