Sunday, December 8, 2013


If you asked me if I ever have a chink in my armor of faith for healing, I would say rarely. But when it comes, it is almost always on top of a physical illness which has laid me flat and just before my next PET scan. Both are the case right now, and I am struggling with Satan. When I am depleted from illness, I am so vulnerable to the devil's lies, and knowing my next scan is Tuesday (first PET since January) somehow allows his voice into my head even more insidiously.

This is the beginning of the end, Mary. You lost 4 more pounds this week and you really do look haggard. Wait until you are skin and bones in death. What songs should they sing at your funeral? Sam won't even miss you when you are dead. Maybe you should tell Dick your plans for burial or cremation this week. It's not too soon. Slow deaths are ugly, Mary. You dying is really going to kill off your parents. Dick is tired of having a sick wife around the house. Better that you were gone.

And that is just for starters. I am tired from it all. And I start to believe it. And that gets me down. And then that makes my physical recovery slower.

Why can't the devil just leave me alone for awhile? I feel as if I have been attacked weekly or daily for 3 years.

My bronchitis has finally turned a corner I think, but I had a bad side effect from Mucinex which lasted 3 days (nausea and plummeting blood pressure) until we figured out that it was the drug. That has set me back a bit. I have no immune system anymore and what used to be a week's bronchitis is now a 3-week event and recovery. My body is weary of fighting everything so hard.

I know Satan does not hold my future. I know that I am in God's sovereign will, but these past days have been really hard. Any warfare prayers you have for me are appreciated.


Cole said...

That lying jerk! You have been attacked so much and your fears are understandable...that's why you have all of us praying for you and standing with you! "For where two or three gather in my name, there I am with you." Matthew 18:20

I know we're not right there with you but we are standing firm in our faith with you. We're holding you in our prayers for healing, for freedom from fear of more attacks, and for Satan's lies to be silenced in the face of God's shining glory. Sending my love and hoping to hear that you are on the mend from this latest round.

Anonymous said...

Mary, I hate satan and I am standing against him for you, too! I too, can't wait for your VICTORY over all this to be manifest in the physical realm. Do NOT listen to those insidious lies from the father of them all. He attacks those hardest who he knows are doing the most for the kingdom of God--hang on to your ROCK, your Foundation, your Deliverer. I want to stop over this week; I'm not afraid of your remaining bronchitis bugs, if you are up to having me stop in! Love you, Ju!

Anonymous said...

My dear Mary- I know you are tired you have to be- it has been one thing after the other. God IS listening to you Mary and is holding you tighly. My prayers are with you all the time-I am praying for strength for you, Dick and Sam.
Keep up the fight Mary
I love you so much my dear friend