SHE KNEW I WOULD

And now....the rest of the story.....

My phone rang. It was "Tina" (from last post). I was beyond surprised. She told me that she called to tell me her cousin died. She had been an only child and was very close to this cousin so his death was really hard for her. I asked a few questions and then listened until she had no more to say. 

I said, "I am so very sorry about your loss, Tina, and I am glad you called to tell me so that I can be praying for you and your family."

She softly said, "I knew you would."

*******

To be pegged as a woman who someone could count on to pray for them when they are hurting....... I can live with that.

WET FEET

I spent my summer asking God to use me. I have been so blessed in my life and have long felt as if God has never had a real role for me in His business. I've been asking Him to mold me, refine me, open me to His kingdom work here on earth. 

I got my first "assignment" last week.

While on my 2 mile morning walk, the name and face of one of the cashiers at our only large retailer in town came into my mind and would not go away. I knew her name from her name badge and I'd made small talk with her on many occasions. What could possibly have brought her to mind? I was praying for my parents at that particular moment in my walk. But clearly God interrupted my prayers and placed (I'll call her Tina) Tina's name smack on my lips.

"Get your feet wet, Mary. Act in obedience."

"And do WHAT, Lord?"

What was I supposed to do about this sense? I did not know her well. Was I supposed to go to the store and seek her out? And then what? I didn't even know if she was working that day.

"Could you give me a little help here, Lord?"

All I got was, again, "Act in obedience to my nudging. I will walk ahead of you."

I showered, dressed, and headed out to the store, even though I did not need enough items to justify the gas across town. I walked in, grabbed 2 items and headed to the check out area, where I saw her immediately in her lane. She was (no surprise) wide open. I laid down my items, said good morning to and blurted out, "Tina, I was just wondering if there was something you might need prayer for today. God really put you on my heart this morning and I had to ask you."

She just stared at me. Seconds before I started shrinking into the floor from self-consciousness, she started what became a 5 minute monologue about all her current problems. As she was talking, a young woman turned her cart into our line, but (no surprise) stayed way back to read magazines and appeared not to notice us at all, giving Tina more time to talk to me. 

After a couple minutes, Tina started to cry as she finished her "story" and said, "Today I was going to call into that prayer hotline on that 103.3 radio station."

I noticed the woman behind us was now putting her items on the conveyor belt. I wanted Tina to have a minute to compose herself so I felt I should leave. I looked at her and said, "I am so sorry about everything you are going through, and I just want you to know that I will be praying for you and your family about all these things. God does hear your prayers."

She thanked me and I left. I prayed for her all the way home and several times after that.

While my left brain would love to understand the bigger picture in that whole scenario, I must be content with knowing that God trusted me to obey his nudge and act without knowledge of what I was really supposed to do and why. Act without knowing the outcome. I still don't know if I said or did the "right thing."

But I obeyed. Maybe that was the most important thing.

Obedience is not always a clear and organized effort. Sometimes it is just floundering through with nothing more than a hunch, knowing God can use imperfect me and my imperfect attempts to bless others and find moments where I can be, for a few minutes, His hands, feet, or mouthpiece.

ONE BOOK

I have been around the world multiple times. 

I have spent days in the Andes Mountains suffering with survivors of a horrific plane crash. I have walked the slums of New Delhi. I have spent time on the green terra firma of Ireland and in the backwoods of the Appalachians. I have spent time with men diving for lost WWII submarines in Kiska and witnessed “the lost boys” from the Rwanda genocide making new lives for themselves. I have cavorted with the likes of Robert Service, Charles Dickens, Victor Frankl and John Grisham.

All because I read.

A lot.

The people I have encountered, the locations I have gotten to explore…..they are both real and fictional. I enjoy all genres. Every book….whether biography, poetry, classic, fiction, or non-fiction, enriches me, expands me.

But there is one genre that I steer away from, and that is books on Christian doctrine or systematic theology.

Why?

Because with every doctrinal book, you are getting a human slant. All commentary in a book of doctrine is ultimately a discussion from a human point of view.

If someone wants to find “support” for his religious views, he can always find a theology book which agrees with him. All you have to do is find the right author, or team of authors. And often, then, what one reads becomes their new official "stand" on the subject. This is taking human slant as truth.

Human slant is not truth.

And books of Christian doctrine cannot help but be biased.

Truth is found only in the Bible. I want only God’s take on everything. I want only His words and the Holy Spirit’s inspired teachings. If there is something in Scripture that I may find difficult to understand, I ask God to make it clear to me rather than turn to human bias in some book of doctrine. I will read in the footnotes the original Greek meanings of some of the words, and that helps me more accurately internalize a passage.

Let's take healing for an example. An obvious choice for me.

People can read, for instance, all they want in commentaries about divine healing and God’s will in it. But it can be taken totally out of context because the authors are human beings (many with a denominational leaning) who have a set of thoughts about the subject already. 

If those same readers-who-want-interpretation would simply take God AT HIS WORD, accept what He says as truth, they could not deny the place of faith healing in the church today. Scripture makes it clear. The trouble is that too many people read Scripture and then feel the need for an “expert” to dissect it for them, not stopping to consider that the interpretation is human-driven, and therefore, up for debate and bias.

So, I stick with my Bible. I sometimes read 2 or 3 different Bible translations of the same chapter so that the words really sink into my heart. But systematic theology is not the next place I turn. I have learned to take God solely at His word and place my understanding of truth on that alone.

And so I sojourn around the world every day, drinking in all that books can offer (thank you Mom and Dad for giving us 3 kids the love of reading-----we in turn have passed on that avid love of books to all our kids----and we are now seeing the seeds of it in some of the great-grands too!).

But when it comes to issues of faith, there is only one Book. And I won’t water it down by absorbing the partiality of some theological “expert.”

Jesus is all the expert I need.

LAST LEG OF THE JOURNEY

I just got home from moving a carload of stuff to Dordt. Sam's car left, equally loaded, a couple hours before me. With my load, we made 4 trips up 4 flights each, in 105 degree (heat index) heat. I was rewarded with a glass of cold water, and then took flight as friend after friend started coming in the guys' apartment (he lives with 5 buddies) to catch up. This was their time. They didn't need a mom hanging around. Though I would have engineered the unpacking and organizing of the place handily if they had wanted me to! Ha!!

Fourth and final trip moving our son to school. Fourth and final array of bittersweet feelings pouring over me as he drives away from home, and as I later drive away from the dorm. We have felt so great about the choice of school Sam made. We have felt so grateful for the quality of education he has had, the professors he has gotten close to, and the friends he has made at this fine Christian college.

I have no idea where 3 years have gone, but I have no doubt that this last year will fly by as well. He has a full credit load and 3 jobs. And in typical Sam-style, he will juggle and excel at all of it.

I have several friends who are, this fall, newly emptynesters. When the quiet in the house starts to pull on their heartstrings, they know who to call. I am a 3-year veteran.

Life moves forward, and I am expecting a great ride. Bring on Fall 2013!!

Note the duct tape on both sides of his book bag. That is the price of private college.
No new anything for 4 years......

One last "Love you, Mom"

One last going-back-to-school picture for the scrapbook....

Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. ~ John Dewey

Don't aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.  ~ David Frost

You have brains in your head.

You have feet in your shoes.

You can steer yourself in any direction you choose.

You're on your own.

And you know what you know.

You are the guy who'll decide where to go.

~ Dr. Suess

SEPARATION

I never used to understand why my mom got (still gets) teary-eyed when any of her kids say goodbye after a visit.

Oh, yes. My son will confirm it. I have turned into my mom. I do okay when Sam comes home from college for an overnight (read: laundry and haircut) or a rare whole weekend, but when the family is together for longer periods of time I get wonderfully used to Sam's personality, voice, and energy filling our home, and those darn tear ducts act up when he pulls out of the driveway.

I was probably born in the wrong century. A hundred years ago, kids rarely moved further than the next farm over.

My son is being and doing everything he is supposed to....grow into responsible adulthood, finish college, get a job upon graduation, and step into his dreams and goals for his future. Not for one second do I want him NOT to be doing all those things. Not for one second.

Tell that to my heart.

There is something inherently unnatural to be separated from someone you love more than your own heartbeat. Mothers hold spaces in their souls that are never filled when those children are not within hugging distance. My heart is fullest when my family is together.

What makes it easier to live with this separation is knowing that Sam likes to come back to the "haven" that is home. He doesn't visit out of any emotional responsibility to us. He comes because home is always home, and because we have created what I hope will always be a soft place to fall. We make the most out of each visit, loving the return to all of the quirky, sweet, and unique traditions that make us us, before he grabs his duffle bag and points the car east to return to college/adult life.

Separation is hard. But knowing it is always temporary makes is easier. When Sam came up to the cabin last week for 3 days, it was our longest chunk of time together in 3 months, and it was just some of the best days of the summer. I drank it in.

When he left, I went out on a plastic float on the lake and thought about separation, and I thought about how excruciating eternal separation from God would be. The Bible tells us that hell is an eternity in the lake of fire. Eternal torture and pain. Never can you pray to Him or feel His love, or hear His voice or experience His grace, mercy, or forgiveness. His blessings are unavailable to you. The certainty of a glorious eternity in heaven is gone.

There is only one thing that insures eternal separation from the One we are to love above all others.

Sin.

We are all sinners (Rom 3:23). And we all deserve hell as a result.

But Jesus paid the price for our sins by becoming the sacrifice God demanded for the sins of mankind. Jesus created the way for all of us to avoid eternal separation from God. What He did, however, is meaningless unless we acknowledge His death and resurrection as the only way to eternal life with our Savior. John 14:6 tells us that no person can come to the Father except through Jesus Christ. He is the ONLY way.

We need to believe the gospel is true, believe He died for each of us personally, and believe that His triumph over the grave makes Him our Savior.

Would I ever in a million years risk eternal separation from my child for any reason? 

No.

Even more would I never risk eternal damnation and being cut off from the source of my being and greatest Love of my life.

For those of you who have not thought about the price of your sin and how to insure that you will never have to live with the pain of being severed from the Lord, maybe today is the day you consider how easy God has made it for us to "go home" with Him someday and find your Divine soft place to fall.

LAKESIDE ENGAGEMENT

We had some excitement at our cabin last week. Sam's best friend James chose to propose to his girlfriend on our dock! We were able to disguise the day's intent under the ruse of celebrating James' birthday.

Later in the evening, James took Meredith on a canoe ride (she is from Georgia and not YET a northern Minnesota lake-girl), we and his family set the stage as per his down-to-the-detail instructions, complete with his mom camouflaged in our woods taking pictures of the dock activities. While 13 of us waited in the cabin, catching only glimpses of what was happening, we finally saw him down on one knee and after he stood up and hugged Meredith, his two brothers, right on cue, set off fireworks from a boat hidden in the reeds on the lake.

It was a special night to share with a special couple and his whole family who are great family friends of ours.

James has always been my "second son," so I was really happy to finally meet Meredith. She is just so warm and loving, one of the most affectionate young women I have ever met. Not to mention smart and sweet!! I am anxious to get to know her over the coming years.

Newly engaged!



There was a little magic sparking in the lake air caused by these two!



Part of the cast of characters.....Rachel, James' sister who served cheesecake down on the dock table; Liz and Jeremiah, his brother and sister-in-law; Lynnette, his mom/official secret photographer; Dick; and Jonathan, his brother who got the playlist on the computer set just right and hidden in the boat!)

Sam was in a suit because he was the maitre' d!! With Sam's girlfriend Gretchen.

 

 

Wishing you much happiness, James and Meredith! James, thank you for letting

us be part of your big secret and your special day!



THREE YEARS

As the day of my 3rd anniversary (of the cancer diagnosis) looms this weekend, I can't help but be reflective of what might have been.

He might be getting out of bed with a heavy heart, his memories of that day fresh on his mind. Perhaps he would spend some time on the deck where the members of his family sat and cried 3 years ago, their world altered by a seismic shift called cancer which moved the earth beneath them.

In an instant, light was bounding off the walls of their souls and morphing into dark gray shadows.

They were the three musketeers. How would the two of them go on living without the third? How would he be both father and mother to their son? How would he be able to bury all the dreams she and he had?

He might be walking his woods with tears in his eyes remembering how summers used to feel at this place he and she loved so much. He might be walking over the area where her ashes were scattered.

That was the script Satan had written for him. For them.

My husband. My son.

A funeral around November of 2011 was to be the ending chapter of the trio's story, and their new lives, widowed and motherless, were to begin at that time.

But my husband, my son....

They never read the book. They did not pick up the devil's screenplay.

They chose to have faith in God's promises for healing. They chose to let God, not Satan, write the ending of the story.

Three years later, the fearsome threesome are still a family united. Three years later there is still life and love and laughter woven into this family.

And grace. So much grace.

And unwavering faith.

And gratitude.

And trust.

Trust that God is true to His promises.
Trust that His pen is not finished writing the story.
Trust that "I shall not die, but live, and proclaim what the Lord has done." (Ps 118:17)

Happy, indeed, anniversary to me.

I love the Lord, for he heard my voice;

he heard my cry for mercy.

Because he turned his ear to me,

I will call on him as long as I live.

The cords of death entangled me,

the anguish of the grave came over me;

I was overcome by trouble and sorrow,

Then I called on the name of the Lord;

"Oh Lord, save me!"

The Lord is gracious and righteous;

our God is full of compassion.

The Lord protects the simple hearted;

when I was in great need, he saved me.

(Psalm 116:1-6)