Got in on the ground floor late yesterday and the el is going up to the top floor!! I can feel the ascension today and I think by tomorrow, the door will open to my old vistas again. The chemo brain lasted as long this time, but wasn't quite as deep a tunnel as previous treatments. I know this only because I was able to watch some TV. I can't read or think or converse or cook or do anything logical, but somehow, I was able to maintain some focus on mindless TV shows, which really helped the time pass.
My perspective about the tumors having not grown is much better. To those of you who spoke just the right words to me that helped me shift my mindset, I thank you. Richie and Sam, Julie, Chris, Mary Ruth, Mike, Becca, Rachel and Kay......you each gave me a nugget that my heart and soul needed to digest, and I am so grateful to you. Mike helped me understand that by virtue of the fact that the tumors haven't grown means that the cancer cells are weaker and more confused and are not replicating quickly anymore. That really is good news and I need to continue to spin it that way. Unwavering faith in healing has to continue to be my mantra and my mental/spiritual focus.
We are finally shoveled out from the blizzard. When we lived in Duluth, our street was plowed within a few hours of any storm, and sometimes, even before the storm was finished. In a state with no income taxes (read: less efficient public services), our tiny town of 10,000 is shut down for 24-48 hours before they plow your street. It frustrates us no end. We rarely get 5" snow storms, so we are hoping this qualifies as the "big one" for this winter.
Thank you so much for our prayers while I was out of commission. I felt every one, and it made a difference.