I had an energetic week freezing meals, decorating the house for the holidays, and going with my hubbie to the city to do our Christmas shopping. I had a tough few hours on Saturday night, however. A classic 1 Peter 5:8 moment (Be alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour). I was sitting enjoying the Christmas tree lights on and I suddenly felt myself being sucked into the devil's mindset and he pounced. All I could say through the tears that starting flowing was, "Statistically, this will be my last Christmas" and to Dick, "If I am not here next Christmas, will you please decorate cookies with Sam.....it's such a big tradition for the two of us."
Satan is so insidious in his attempts to discourage and create despair and hopelessness. He had me right where I have refused to go for months. Had a good long cry with my husband, and he prayed for me, and I was better in a couple hours. Fleeing from the devil could be a fulltime job, but I know He cannot stand in the face of God's Word.
I started up my steroids today as the first step to tomorrow's 4th chemo treatment. It is a big day, and not without apprehension. I am having my first CT scan to determine if the lung tumor has shrunk at all. From a purely scientific standpoint, I know I might be discouraged if it has not shrunk or increased in size; I need to keep in mind that God CREATED the field of science and is sovereign OVER it, and He still has the final say in all things. I also know after nearly 7 years of infertility that God's delays are not always God's denials.
The CT will be right before the chemo treatment and I have no idea when the results will come back. Usually a radiologist takes a day or two to read it, so I may not know anything tomorrow.
Please pray for tomorrow's medical agenda and that I could keep from being discouraged if the news is not great. I will continue to take God at His Word for my healing. Please pray that God would target the cancer cells with the chemo and that His hands would protect all healthy cells in my body. Please pray that as I go down into the side-effect tunnel on Wednesday it will not be any worse than it has been. Thank you so much for your faithfulness in praying for me.
3 JOHN 2....Beloved, I wish ABOVE ALL THINGS that you may prosper and BE IN HEALTH.
2 comments:
Oh Mary, I'm so sorry to hear about those awful thoughts that invaded your mind Saturday night. You have been so positive and held so tight to God's promises, but I'm sure those moments are awfully difficult to fight off at times.
The important thing is that you remember you are not a statistic. You are God's daughter. He loves to watch you reading His word and declaring His promises to all those praying for you in this season of your life. I'm just so thankful you know and hold tight to God's faithfulness.
I was praying for your next round of chemo as I went to bed last night, but I didn't realize there were tests to be done as well. I will certainly add that into my prayers for you.
May God bless you, surround your heart & mind, and hold you up as you enter this next round and hear the news of the CT scan.
We all rebuke Satan and his evil plans! I declare in the precious Name of Jesus that you are going to be decorating cookies with grandkids for years to come! Keep tellin' Satan to TAKE A HIKE! He's worried because your relationship with Christ is so strong or he wouldn't be buggin' you.....See you Wednesday! Julie
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