Tuesday, May 17, 2011
NEED YOUR PRAYERS
For those of you who know my feelings about living at the cabin for the summer, you will be surprised to hear that I am really struggling lately with going. It is my favorite spot in the world, and yet the last 4 days of being there last August hold such powerfully difficult feelings. There is a tsunami of grief and utter terror and devastation and sadness now associated with my cabin, even though the property had nothing to do with my diagnosis. I am usually packed by the end of April and chomping at the bit to move up there. This year, I feel none of that. I have reluctance and trepidation and a sense of fear that another crisis could send us back to SD in the middle of our summer, ruining it for my husband and son. I have visions of the 3 of us lost in grief and fear sitting on the deck, not knowing how to put one foot in front of the other. Sam and I are supposed to go up there on Tuesday (after a time in Fargo), and I do want to conquer these mental fears. I know satan is trying to steer me away from any joy I might be able to find, and he is being successful right now. I could really use some heart-felt prayer that God would bring me the peace I need for this transition, and that He would calm my anxiety. Thanks!