Sunday, October 3, 2010



I had to show you my "ruby slippers" sent by my niece Annie, who tells me that I need 3 things to navigate through cancer treatment: the mind of the Scarecrow, the heart of the Tin Man, the courage of the Lion, and my ruby remind me that I, like Dorothy, have had the power inside of me all along to travel this winding yellow brick road of chemotherapy and find my way home to health. (Plus, I have GOD, and Dorothy didn't!!) 

Yesterday morning I felt anxious because I was feeling some discomfort on my left chest wall. Immediately my mind went to its worry center and I started wondering if the tumor had grown and I was now feeling it. It has, after all, been 8 long weeks of diagnosis and testing (which should have been only about 3 if the biopsies had produced enough tissue in the first place). Within minutes, the phone rang and it was my doctor. She had just stopped by her office on Saturday morning and saw my test results and thought I might want to know that the tumor was unchanged. It has NOT grown. Major relief!!

S came home for an overnight. We love it that he is close enough to do this. He will be home for almost 4 days for his fall break, and we can't wait. Had a wonderful visit from friends Larry and Cindy to end the weekend.

So....Tuesday is C-Day! Am I apprehensive? Yep. I am. The ol' fear-of-the-unknown creeps in. I will be so glad to get this first round of chemo out of the way so I will know exactly what to expect in further treatments (once every 3 weeks). D will be there with me, which means so much. My sister-in-law, my sister in heart, my sister Margie is coming from Fargo on Wednesday to be here with me for a couple days after round 1. She is caregiver extraordinaire with a compassionate heart beyond measure and she is one of my major anti-cancer prayer warriors. I am blessed that she wants to be here!

My prayer requests are pretty much down to the cellular level tonight.

1) That God would protect my healthy cells as the chemo flows through my veins, and that the chemo would only target the cancer cells, keeping my immune system in check.

2) That my white blood cell count would remain stable so that infection doesn't set in (to my wonderful church family: I won't be shaking any hands in church for a while to keep germs at bay)!

3) That I would have few side effects, and that any would be manageable with meds.

4) That I would gain back the 4 pounds I have lost due to stress, and that my appetite would increase. I need calories right now, but I have always had a super active metabolism and weight gain is tough. 

5) Please pray also that God might use me in the infusion center to give a word of hope or encouragement to someone who needs one.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for praying!

I feel so bathed in God's mercy and grace and peace tonight. I am so thankful that He has brought me to this place from the agonizing pool of grief and sorrow and hopelessness that I felt 8 weeks ago. I feel His love sustaining me on an hourly basis. And I continue to thank Him for the healing I believe He will do/is already doing in my body.

Psalm 119:49   Remember your word to your servant, for you have given me HOPE. My comfort in my suffering is this: Your PROMISE preserves my LIFE!!!


Cole said...

I will definitely include those specific prayers when I'm praying for you today.

I'm so excited to hear that the tumor had not grown in 8 weeks, I'm hoping and praying that is the first of many wonderful reports to come, Mary!

God bless you and your wonderful family!

Pat said...

God's healing grace is with you Mary, as you prepare for tomorrow's first treatment, & as I include your prayer requests in my daily prayers. Your wit & humor, as well as your ability to pray for others, are a part of your own healing. Hugs, Pat