Saturday, September 11, 2010


I have been waiting for the right time to write this post. And I think the time to share this is now. The entire tenor of this blog is about to change.

I believe I am going to be healed of cancer. The healing may already have begun.

Let me back way up, and move forward. When I decided to become a follower of Jesus 29 years ago, and commit my life to Him, I began a wonderful journey of faith. He has been faithful to me through all the valleys I have trudged through, and has blessed me beyond words. My faith continues to evolve as I continue to seek Him for forgiveness, grace and strength.

But in this Christian walk, there has always been the “but” caveat for me. It was how I always felt I should pray. Through 7 years of infertility, it was, “Lord, I know you can give us a healthy pregnancy and child, and this is what we are asking for, BUT if you don’t, I accept your will.” Through 3 clinical depressions, it was, “Lord, walking in this dark emptiness is so hard. I ask for relief, BUT if you choose to have me stay in this place, I will do that.” And I am not saying that those prayers are not good and right. We always want God’s will for us.

But now I have cancer. A life-threatening illness. Dire situations call for new measures of faith. And God has sent a Godly woman into our lives who has shared with us about this new way to approach cancer that resonates TRUTH with us right now. It is all about eliminating the BUT, and standing on the Word of God. The simplicity of it staggers me, but its execution will take D and me and “the chosen few” who may be willing to jump in this with us, to heights of faith that none of us have probably scaled before.

Why have I not recognized God’s healing proclamations before in Scripture? They are EVERYWHERE! God wants to heal His children. He chooses health and abundant life for them. He stands ready to restore health to those with disease. But the key is STANDING ON THE PROMISE OF HIS WORD, which is inerrant. God does not have the character to go against His own Word. His promises are as true today as when they were written. But we need to claim them as our own, and believe that His promises are His will.

Sickness is not from God. Does He allow it? Yes. Does He use it for our refinement and for His purposes and His glory? Yes. But does he insert cancer into bodies? No. There was NO sickness in creation until sin found its way into the Garden of Eden. Not ANY sickness. Sin was introduced, and sickness and every human evil and hardship accompanied sin. Sin is of the devil. God does NOT choose sickness for us. He chooses LIFE. He chooses HEALTH.

This wonderful woman who has helped us see these truths has provided us with a book with over 40 Scriptures that promise God’s intent in healing. We are choosing to TAKE GOD AT HIS WORD, without wavering, that He will heal me. We will speak these healing Scriptures daily. We will speak them when I am not “feeling” healthy, we will speak them when we are having a down day, we will believe them as I lay under a radiation machine, we will claim them even when it may appear treatment is not working. Together, in solid agreement, D and I will stand on the Rock.

Remember the childhood Sunday School song…..The B-I-B-L-E, yes, that’s the book for me, I stand alone on the Word of God, the B-I-B-L-E!
The really freeing thing about this for us is knowing that healing is not based on the strength or eloquence of our prayers, not based on the intensity of our believing or the wavering of our belief in His ability. Everything is based on the Holy Word of our Creator God. Nothing more. Nothing less. We take His promises to heart and believe them. We focus on The Word, who IS Jesus Christ.

We believe God has given us good medical resources to fully utilize in healing and we will use them. We will use chemo or radiation or whatever else is deemed my best chance to fight this cancer. And then we are choosing to believe God will take over the healing. This leap of faith is ours and ours alone. God speaks very differently to different people at different times. We just know that this is His word for us for now.

Do we still believe God is sovereign and in control and that His will for us will come forth in our lives? Of course. We are simply choosing to profess His promises in the Bible as His will as we journey forward. For ME, and I emphasize, this is MY experience with cancer, every time I have hung the “but” on my prayers, I am pulled back into a feeling of fear. D and I know that we can’t walk the road of fear and anxiety anymore. We can’t function in fear. Unwavering belief in healing alleviates fear.

We are not na├»ve enough to think that Satan will not try to transport us back to Anxietyville and Sorrowtown (I’ve been the acting mayor of both cities since my diagnosis), and try mightily to convince us that we are being foolish and unrealistic. There may be days when uttering these promises may be extremely difficult. But together, D and I will walk forward in faith.

As I said, there will be a chosen few people in our lives who may want to join us in this declaration of faith. There will not be many. Doubt is human, and there are people who will be our critics. We hope that they keep their doubts and criticism to themselves. Throughout this treatment process, we will surround ourselves with fellow believers in my healing. We have things to share with those chosen few, and we will be able to discern who they are. To heal, we believe you need healing expectations.

We ask you all for continued prayers for strength and courage and healing. Your prayers have sustained us in ways we would not have imagined a month ago. We are honored that so many are lifting us up in prayer daily.

We wrestled with sharing any of this on the blog. But if I decided to withhold this from those of you following my journey and praying for me, I would be showing doubt. I am choosing unwavering faith. And I want you all to see God get the glory for my healing.

The many of you right now who have a different slant on your theology or are perhaps rolling your eyes or thinking to yourselves that we are not being realistic, are probably saying, “Yeah, so what if after all that, God DOESN’T heal you, Mary?”

And my answer to you is: What have we lost?




Cole said...

Mary, I am moved to tears. I can't wait to watch your journey unfold. Your faith is such a beautiful thing and as you said, you have nothing to lose but EVERYTHING to gain. He is such a Faithful Father, I'm so thankful to hear how He is leading you. Thank you so much for sharing your journey.

I'm with you in prayer!

Gary said...

You go girl! I BELIEVE He can heal you as well and I will stand with you on His promises. I cant wait to see His glory revealed through you.

Risa said...

I am so glad - I breathe a sigh of thankfulness. Anxietyville and Sorrowtown will have to find a new mayor!!!

I am filled with joy for both of you!

Family said...

With God all things are possible! Thank you for sharing this on your blog. We are praying for you!!